What Was Cain Thinking?
“I don’t know, ” he replied. (Gen 4:10-16) I don’t know? I don’t know… Just reading that made me want to reach though the text slapping my hand over Cain’s mouth whispering, “NO!!! Don’t say that!!” Cain, how in the world did you think you could lie to God?
What? That doesn’t make me feel very warm and fuzzy. Rather, I feel… guilty.
Are you offended yet? I wanted to be, but when truth smacks me in the face I have a now-learned tendency to stop and listen.
How do you know it’s truth hitting you in the face? You can’t find the words to justify your thoughts or actions. It feels like a supernatural roadblock, a protection of sorts, encouraging you with, “Don’t! Not one more word. Trust me on this!”
THAT is it. Justification. I use to try and state my case, defend my actions, debate toward the win. I thought I was good at it too but then I just realized the only one I was fooling was myself. Maybe others around me were convinced, but He never was.
But that’s it, right? That’s the point. We are Cain when we try to defend our actions when we are simply wrong. To make things worse, after we have successfully deceive ourselves, we attempt to deceive God.
Sound a bit familiar? Flip your Bible back a page or two and you will see Cain’s parents attempting to do the same – hide.
You See Me. You Know Me.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. (Psalm 139:1-4 ESV)
You have searched me, you know me, you know it altogether. There isn’t a part of me hidden from you. There is so much freedom in knowing that the One who knitted you together is the same one that forgives our debts when we admit our guilt. Not knowing in our head, but knowing in our heart.
Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don’t for a moment escape God’s notice. (Psalm 51:17 MSG)
Father, I am so grateful that my actions don’t escape your notice. Thank you for leaving the Helper to nudge me when I struggle with my pride and am tempted to act foolishly. As if I could hide anyway. My heart rejoices knowing you truly KNOW me and SEE me. Keep me close, held within the warmth and safety of your embrace. Amen.