Speed Bumps and Pot Holes...

Have you ever had those moments in your walk with God where you literally are stopped in your tracks only to fall to your knees overwhelmed by His love for you? Your heart races, tears uncontrollably flood from your eyes, you tremble feeling completely ambushed by thoughts, emotions and feelings. I'm not talking about a momentary glance toward the Father with a smile, I'm talking about that moment where you don't feel as though you can breathe you are so overwhelmed by Him!

Yesterday while I was running I had to fight from crying. I have never had the experience where I was running and all of a sudden overcome by the emotion of crying. Do you know how hard it is to breathe at a runner's pace and cry at the same time? But there I was, trying hard to hold back the tears long enough to finish my run knowing as soon as my feet hit the curb of my home the flood-gates would open and the emotion would over-take me. I felt ambushed!

This year has been so hard. I cannot characterize it by many other words unless they are somehow synonymous with hard - difficult, challenging, disappointing, empty, sad, disheartening - the list could continue. It started with the word I believe God gave to me at the beginning of this year - healing.

When God gives you a word like healing, it would be normal to begin asking yourself questions. Questions such as am I sick? What do I need healing from? Truthfully, the most prominent consideration I have had is, Lord, what are we about to experience together, what are you preparing my heart for now?

Throughout the year there have been so many amazing circumstances of healing... experiencing my mom's baptism and seeing her sell out to Him desiring day by day to know Him better and experience Him deeper... healing. Seeing Him completely capture the heart of my teenage daughter as she makes decisions and choices that align her life with His, desiring only His will for her life although that is not the customary and accepted response at her age in engaging life and others... healing. Relocating my focus in vocational ministry only to experience much-needed, greatly-appreciated time with my precious family... healing. Just recounting each of those brings about a smile.

But there is one condition of healing that has been the most challenging for me. With only a month and a half left to this year I pray I am arriving at the place He has been bringing me, I was about to say this past year but the reality is He has been bringing me to this place my whole life. At this place sits a wonderful gift. Most of us, when we have an inclination of a gift waiting for us, we run with complete abandon toward the gift so we may receive the gift. Although I have been running to the gift deeply desiring it, I have been plagued with speed bumps and pot holes along the way that has hindered my race toward the prize. As much as they have plagued me the speed bumps and potholes have taught me valuable lessons that without them, the gift wouldn't mean as much. What I appreciate most about the speed bumps and potholes is that they are usually profound enough that I can't just keep going overlooking them, I have to stop long enough to acknowledge them. Hopefully when I run that way again, I won't forget they were there and will navigate with more wisdom down the road or better yet, when I return, they will have disappeared or have been repaired - healing!

If you are wondering if this gift I speak of is healing, it's not... the gift He has been preparing my heart for is faith.

Father, I am overwhelmed by the enduring love you have for your people. I am grateful for the speed bumps and pot holes that you allow to plague our journey at times in our lives. However hard they may be to navigate, the outcome brings us closer to you as you bestow such beautiful gifts upon us. It is the desire of my heart that I will always run with complete abandon toward the gifts you choose to give me. Don't let me get stuck on the speed bumps and pot holes. Amen!

To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines. 1 Corinthians 12:8-11